


A Million to One

by hauntedpanels



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Old Aperture, One Shot, potato GLaDOS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedpanels/pseuds/hauntedpanels
Summary: She was searching for the right words, the right questions, anything to help herself understand, to help Chell understand. She couldn’t. There was no coherent way to sum up exactly how she was feeling right now, how she’d been feeling for years without a clue as to why. That wasn’t something that could be summed up into words, she thought. 
After learning sensitive information about her companion's past, Chell encourages GLaDOS to open up about her feelings, bringing the two closer together than ever before.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My friend and I were talking about what kind of interactions Chell and GLaDOS would have had after learning about Caroline, and I ended up writing this for them.

Chell sighed and took a seat on the ledge overlooking nothing but concrete and the crumbling ruins of what was once a bustling and lively facility. She didn’t feel right to just keep moving. Not after what she’d just heard over the intercom. GLaDOS sat across from her, protruding awkwardly from the claws of her portal gun. She’d traded her usual talkative nature for that of deafening silence, and the test subject was slowly beginning to understand why.

The two stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. GLaDOS found it hard to speak, her mind flooding with long repressed memories, but finally made the effort.

“Wow.”

Chell was taken aback -- what kind of response was that?! She had a million thoughts frantically running through her mind and it wasn’t even  _ her _ past. The AI barely even seemed phased, her voice as monotonous as usual.

“That sure was… something. Well, back to testing. We need to get back up there. Immediately.” Chell knit her eyebrows together and frowned. “Stop looking at me like you feel sorry for me,” GLaDOS snapped. “Your pity isn’t going to get me back in my body. I’d offer to sit here and have a chat to process everything, but there’s nothing to process.” Chell raised an eyebrow. “Okay! So what, that woman back there is me.” Her voice began to shake. “What more is there to process? I’ll tell you what: nothing. It seems pretty cut and dry if you ask me.” The facility shook, recovering from an explosion above. “Let’s just pretend we never heard that recording and get moving.”

The more the computer tried to convince herself it didn’t matter, the less she believed it. She recalled a dark memory of her previous self begging for an alternative fate, and shook it off, attempting again to convince her companion she was fine. “It’s all in the past now. Why do you care so much?!” she demanded, her voice becoming more and more panicked, watching Chell give her a look of genuine concern. “Stop looking at me like that!”

Chell didn’t even so much as waver, and GLaDOS realized there was no point in trying to convince her stubborn test subject to do otherwise.

“I’m going to have to talk about this before you keep moving, huh?” she said with defeat. Chell nodded and gave her a friendly smile, reaching out to pull her from the gun and hold her in her hand. She stayed silent again, the only sounds being the shaking of the facility and the hum of the portal device. She was searching for the right words, the right questions,  _ anything _ to help herself understand, to help Chell understand. She couldn’t. There was no coherent way to sum up exactly how she was feeling right now, how she’d been feeling for  _ years _ without a clue as to why. That wasn’t something that could be summed up into words, she thought.

“I can’t,” she began. Chell gave her a puzzled look. “I don’t know what else there is to say that hasn’t already been said. It just… all finally makes sense now. I wish it didn’t.” She nodded sympathetically, holding the potato battery closer to her so they were face to face. 

“I need your honest opinion on something. Please,” she continued. Chell tilted her head as if to ask, “What?” “I need to know if there’s something I am doing wrong.” Her test subject shook her head like she didn’t understand. “There’s got to be something I’m doing wrong. That’s why no one will ever listen to me when I say “no.” Right? You should know the answer to this, because you’ve ignored my protests several times. Like remember when I said, “hey, don’t kill me,” and you killed me anyway? Or how about earlier today, when I said, “please don’t press that button,” and you pressed it anyway?”

Chell felt guilt-ridden as GLaDOS delivered her speech, not quite sure how to respond. She never wanted to hurt her. She had the best intentions. But GLaDOS was right -- she did say no, and she still didn’t listen. No matter the justification of self-defense, she still hurt her.

“So anyway, I need your feedback. Because evidently there’s a pattern in people breaching my lack of consent. Think of it like peer review. Try to stay objective here. What am I doing wrong?”

Chell wasn’t sure how to silently communicate that it wasn’t her fault. None of it was. She knew how common it was for people who’ve been hurt to blame it on themselves, and how detrimental it can be, but she couldn’t find it in herself to give up her long charade of silence, if she was even capable of it. She stroked the side of GLaDOS’s optic with her thumb, hoping the sad excuse of an embrace would get the message across.

“I guess that’s too much of a loaded question for you to be able to answer,” GLaDOS said. “It’s funny, though, really, when you think about it. What goes around comes around, right? I got what I had coming.”

Chell didn’t know what she was referring to -- Caroline, the engineers, her hurting GLaDOS? She didn’t know the whole story, but then again, she didn’t need to. It was obvious she was hurting. She shook her head fervently, mouthing “no” and brushing her hand over her optic once again in an attempt at affection.

“Look, uh… this isn’t easy for me,” GLaDOS finally said. “I hate admitting I’m wrong. It even took an enormous amount of effort to say just  _ that _ . But, I guess… what I’m trying to say…” she trailed off, and Chell waited patiently for her to begin speaking again. “What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry, okay? I was wrong. Well, I’m not the only one to blame here; you did murder me.” She paused. “I wasn't intentionally trying to be malicious. I thought I was defending myself. I know you don't know the full extent of what happened to me, and frankly it’s none of your business, but just know it was horrible enough justify what I did -- no, not justify. Sorry, not the right wording I was looking for. But I think you get the picture here: hurting someone is wrong regardless of intention. Or at least, that's what you would probably say, if you talked. Since you pride yourself on being such a hero.” She paused. “And maybe you should take your hypothetical advice, since we’re clearing up the air here. Is there anything  _ you’d _ like to apologize for?”

Chell laughed softly. She tried to get the words out, but it’d been so long since she’d spoken. She found herself attempting to mouth, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” and was afraid GLaDOS would get lost in translation, but it was eventually clear that the AI understood.

“Thanks,” she finally managed. “You know, it’s not every day that you are turned into a potato, shoved down a pit, pecked by birds, and forced to remember traumatic events from your past. I don’t think I’d want anyone else to know these things or see me like this. I barely even want  _ you _ to know these things and see me like this. But if I had to pick anyone to be stuck with underground with an imminent self destructing facility above, it would be you. And it’s not only because I love you--” she cut herself off, short circuiting momentarily. “Huh, oops. Sound glitch. I was trying to say I hate you.” Chell laughed. “Hey, it's not funny! I told you I'm only running on 1.1 volts.”

Chell grinned and held her companion close to her, planting a soft kiss on her optic. The potato battery short circuited again, shocked at the embrace. She hadn’t known a friendly touch in, well, ever. Something of a romantic nature was practically overwhelming.

“You just kissed a potato. I'm adding that to the list of incredibly stupid and embarrassing things you've done. I'll put it right next to “put an idiot in charge of my facility” and “thinks she looks good in orange.”” Chell pulled her in for another soft kiss, cradling her against her cheek. “You just did it again,” GLaDOS said, pretending to be annoyed. Chell knew the AI too well to believe the facade and smiled warmly.

GLaDOS couldn’t help but feel calm, and for the first time in a while, too. She’d spent so much of her life afraid, and had finally found a moment in which she could feel safe. She laughed to herself about the irony of her murderer being the person she felt most secure with.

Chell was thinking similarly, pondering how she never would have expected this even just a day ago. Of course, she’d grown fond of the computer over the time they’d spent together, but she never expected being this close and affectionate with her; she never even knew about this softer side to her until they were forced to rely on each other for survival. She was grateful for it. Her life was still in danger, but things were different now -- they had each other. She wanted to find a way to communicate to GLaDOS that she was forgiven, but couldn’t figure out how. Chell hoped she forgave her, too. There was no point holding onto bitter feelings, she thought. They had to work together now. And she was more than fine with that.

Chell barely even noticed until GLaDOS spoke up that she’d been cradling her against her chest, allowing the AI to hear her steady heartbeat.

“We should get moving again,” she said. “I have no idea what that idiot up there has done to my facility, but this place isn’t going to be safe for much longer.” Chell nodded and returned the potato battery to her original position on the portal device, standing up to continue her trek to the facility above. “And by the way, thank you for listening to me, Chell.” The test subject stopped in her tracks, eyes wide with shock -- she’d never heard GLaDOS say her name before. She didn’t even know she  _ knew _ her name. The way GLaDOS said it was filled with so much admiration and love it was almost uncharacteristic of her. Chell grinned and nodded. “I’m not going to lie to you, I’m not sure we’re going to make it out of this alive; the odds are a million to one -- and that’s with some generous rounding. But we can always try. I’ll be honest -- I have no plan, and I’m sure you don’t, either. But if we both have nothing, we might as well give it to each other, right?” She nodded. “So let’s go get ourselves some revenge, Chell.”


End file.
